When There are No Answers
The Unbreakable Covenant Promise-
An Anchor of Hope for People that Break
God sometimes asks us to give up things
we love- things we’ve hoped for and prayed for-
good things. And sometimes what
may be the hardest part about that is not even in losing the thing itself,
though incredibly painful, but in our questioning and in our sorrow feeling the
very love and nearness of God has gone away also with that thing. I have felt this. It is a dark place. And I understand better why David would say “
The nearness of God is my good.” I have
experienced this also. And it is a
bright and hopeful place of rest.
I’m taking a Precepts Bible Study on the
book of Exodus right now. It has been an
amazing study and has been enlightening for my understanding of who God is and
His sovereign, wise purposes to make people everywhere know that HE IS THE
LORD. His faithful care and
provision for His people has been a steady theme throughout the book and has
several times brought me to tears even as I relay to my children how God gave
the people a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night, reassuring
them of His presence and faithful watch over them. One of the first promises He makes when He is
calling Moses to the great task of leading His people out of Egypt is this…. “I
WILL BE WITH YOU” (Exodus
3:12) Can we just allow those words to
sink in for a minute? HE, the God who spoke the world into
existence, the God who commands the winds and the seas to obey Him (and they
do), the God who sent His only Son Jesus into a cruel world to die an awful
death because of His great love for us, the God in whom rests the only hope we
have in this life…..this is the God- the one we are able to call our God- who gives the most
comforting 5 words, apart from calling us His own, I think we could be given….
“I WILL BE WITH YOU”.
Speechless.
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| Photo: The Lamb's Garden Ministries |
God made a covenant
with Israel. I learned that the Hebrew
word for “made” means “cut”…He cut a covenant with them. When men made a covenant with each other in
those times, they would actually make a cut on their forearms, with
blood shed, as a symbol or sign of the covenant agreement they made with each
other. This made it personal- it was a
visible reminder to themselves whenever they looked down and saw that cut, they
remembered the covenant. But it also
served as a sign to their enemies that showed that they were not alone, that
someone was behind them and had their back, so to speak. In His covenant with Israel, God rescued them
from their slavery in Egypt and faithfully provided for them daily, guiding
them through the wilderness and giving them laws for their own protection. And yet, in their thirst, in their weariness,
in their doubt…in their sin, they grumbled and questioned God… “Did you rescue
us from the land of Egypt only to let us die in this wilderness?” How easily they forgot where they had been,
the miraculous signs and wonders God had performed, how God had protected them
from every plague He brought upon the Egyptians, how He had been faithful to
every promise He had made, how DAILY He provided the food that they
needed. They easily forgot the covenant
He had cut with them.
How easily I have forgotten the promises and the
faithfulness of God in days past.
Lord, I believe. Help my
unbelief.
I WILL BE WITH YOU.
There is beautiful hope in that phrase for any diagnosis, any
trepidation, any loss, any anxious fear, any heartache. Stop and let those words sink in again.
Lord, You promised to be with Moses and You
were. You promised to be with the
Israelites and You were. Even when
things didn’t make sense to them, even when they doubted you in their sin, even
when they couldn’t see how Your all-wise steps were leading them and guiding
them to the Promised Land. You were
faithful. And You are the same God today
as you were then.
YOU WILL BE WITH ME.
Pain comes in many different
packages. As Alistair Begg said, “How
many heartaches are hidden behind our smiles?”
We all have hardships. The trials
we are guaranteed in Scripture (yes, I said guaranteed… “in this world you WILL
have troubles.” And yet, I still find myself surprised at times when they
come. ”Do not be surprised by the trials
among you.” we are told in I Peter 4:12-13)
Anyway….our hardships
don’t always look the same for each of us and vary in degrees of intensity. The
aches of our heart don’t always come in the form of extreme trauma or tragedy. Or they might.
They may come in the form of severe
debilitating insomnia with no end in sight.
Loneliness stemming from an unfulfilled desire to be married. Facing persecutions in your business because
you choose to walk in integrity.
Unrelentless financial burdens. Supporting your husband in his business ventures whatever it takes. Broken and hurtful family relationships laced
with deception, and manipulation. Living
with chronic pain or illness that maybe nobody else understands. Miscarriage. Severed friendships. Battles of daily depression. The loss of a child or
spouse, sibling or parent. Unbelieving children. A barren womb. A harsh and difficult husband. A quarrelsome wife. Working day in and day out at an unfulfilling
job. Simply living a life that didn’t
look how you expected for it to look for one reason or another. I know I haven’t even dented the surface.
Family and friends, I know some of you
have endured these things for years. And
most of the time, nobody understands the depth and the layers that burrow deep
down into your soul. And the
wonderfully comforting thing is that our
GOD KNOWS. Even when we don’t
understand, He knows and He cares.
He does.
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| Photo: https://openclipart.org/user-detail/GDJ |
God does not always give us answers. He doesn't always allow us to know why He does things the way He does. Sometimes things are utterly confusing and just hurts. To be honest, sometimes I've even felt duped. I look at certain seasons or circumstances in life (particularly a very recent season) and the biggest thing I can see in my mind's eye is a big question mark. I
found recently God asking me the question in my soul, “Are you ok with not
having answers? WILL YOU TRUST ME?” I
have to be honest and say that I wrestled.
Deeply. I look back and think
about some of the most difficult things God has called me to walk through in
life and you’d think I would’ve surrendered the expectation of understanding
everything He does. But no, it is still
a struggle! But by His grace, it has
come a little easier each time and I surrender a little sooner with each
trial.
Through the wrestling, I found the
answer came softly and very simply, but with rightful authority.
“I
am God and you are not.”
Simple as that, but oh so difficult for
the flesh to accept and embrace. His
ways are so so so so sooooooo much higher than mine and His thoughts so so so
soooooo much higher than mine. Who can
know the mind of the Lord? Who has been
His counselor? (Romans 11:34)
Deuteronomy 29:29 tells us that “The
secret things belong to the Lord.” While
I believe that this truth certainly applies to doctrine- things about our God
or His Word that we simply cannot and will not understand until heaven- I think
it also applies to the things in the workings of our lives that God has chosen
to keep hidden from us. Even when we
start seeing some of His purposes- glimpses of the “why” He did something- I am
compelled to believe that we still really only see a fragment of how He is
working all those things together for good in the grand tapestry of His eternal
purposes.
John Piper said “God is always doing
10,000 thousand things in your life. And
you may be aware of three of them.”
He is always working….every single
solitary minute detail of what happens in this universe is in His perfect
control and grand plan.
And the thing that I cannot leave out of
that truth- that He is sovereign over it all- is that He is always good. Sometimes His ways don't just not make sense. Sometimes they feel harsh and cruel. But, friends, ALL of His plans for us are somehow wholly
loving. Whether it feels like
love or not, I must believe that it IS.
Because He says it is. This, my
friends, is the hard part about faith- but it is the very essence of what faith
is….believing in the things that we cannot see and cannot understand and cannot
know. (Hebrews 11:1) It is a choice, fueled by the grace of God and power of the Holy Spirit….a choice to
believe Him….a choice to trust Him…a choice to have JOY. My feelings do not define truth- God’s Word
does. My heart cries “God, purify my
understanding of truth, transform my feelings so that they are in symphony with
the promises of Your Word.”
Sometimes the love of an infinite,
omnipotent, omniscient God does not look like the love that my finite, feeble
mind understands. His love for us is a
million times greater than we can ever fathom. This is love: that He sent His son
Jesus to give His life for mine. I did
NOTHING to earn that. And I will never
be able to repay such a priceless gift.
NO OTHER payment would do. This
was the ONLY way for me to be made clean- and HE did it. For ME and for YOU. This is LOVE.
Let us never forget that, in the midst of whatever incredibly painful
things we are going through. We deserve
nothing from God but eternal judgment.
And yet He has given us just the opposite and abundantly more! If it were possible for God to never show me
one more ounce of kindness or mercy, the cross would still be more than I EVER
should receive. He died for us and gave
us the certificate of DEBT PAID! “Tetelestai”…
It is finished! And He will certainly
not leave us there.
“He who began a good work in you will be
faithful to complete it.” (Philippians
1:6)
“Look at the birds of the air: they
neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds
them. Are you not of more value than they?” (Matthew 6:26)
One of the things that we are constantly
ingraining in our children’s minds and hearts is that “God is with them.” When they are afraid, when they get
ouchies, when they are apprehensive, that is what we tell them- “God is with
you.” If my 5 year old son is asked to go up to
mommy and daddy’s room to get something and he is afraid because it’s dark up
there, his immediate response is, “Daddy, will you go with me?” Daddy encourages him to be brave and that
there is light in the hallway and that as soon as he gets in the bedroom he can
turn the light on. Nope, he still won’t
have it. The only thing that calms his
fears, that gives him the ability to make the long dark scary walk up to the
bedroom (which in reality is 12 stairs, mostly lit) is if daddy goes with
him. He is fearless if daddy is with
him. (Unless of course there are bees
and then it’s hopeless.) And so it is
with me- I am not much different from a child.
If my Father goes with me, I find great comfort and strength for
the task. Or at least I should.
So, what if I find no comfort in the truth
that He is with me? Well, I have been
there too, sadly. If knowing that my
loving, wise Father is with me through whatever I’m walking does not bring me
peace and rest in my soul, I have to examine my understanding of my Father and
my relationship with Him. You see, when
He is not my greatest joy and my dearest Friend and my fountain of life, my
treasure, my reward, the aim of my life…..then there’s little comfort in
knowing He is with me. I might as well
be walking with Kermit the Frog. But when He is all those things to me, I am
empowered for the journey, knowing He goes with me. John
Piper said, “What is the deepest root of your joy? What God gives to you? Or what God is to you?”
I have THE most supportive, committed,
loyal husband. We are a team and feel
like we can walk through anything if we are together and unified. When I had thyroid surgery several years ago,
he stayed the night with me and was with me around the clock. During the labors and deliveries of our
babies he did not leave my side (well, he tried once- to go to the bathroom,
but I wouldn’t let him leave). As
grateful as I am for his companionship and love, as much as I feel strengthened
when he is with me and love being with him, it still cannot compare with the
peace and presence of the Lord. If HE is
not with me, I lack peace, I lack joy, I lack hope.
And the reality of all of this, is that
even though in hardships I may lose the sense
of God’s presence, we know from Hebrews 13:5 that He is with us: “I will
never leave you nor forsake you.” Even
when we can’t seem to find God, He is there.
In his book Trusting God (a
new favorite! If you haven’t read it, do
it), Jerry Bridges says “He may hide
Himself from our sense of His presence, but He never allows our adversities to
hide us from Him. He may allow us to
pass through the deep waters and the fire, but He will be with us in them. (see
Isaiah 43:2).”
I’m sure I have read this passage
numerous times but for some reason it has come alive to me lately: Psalm 18:28-30 “For it is you who light my
lamp; the Lord my God lightens my darkness.
For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a
wall. This God- His way is perfect, the word of the Lord proves true; he is a
shield for all those who take refuge in Him.”
Even knowing the purpose of the Father,
Jesus still had to walk the dark road to the cross- the thorns still dug into
his head, the spear still pierced His side, the whip still made Him cry out in
pain. A reminder of His humanity (while maintaining His deity)- He took on flesh and felt physical pain. But it was for the joy set before
Him He endured the cross (Hebrews 12:2).
And so with us, the Lord being with us doesn’t remove our pain or change the difficulty
level of the road we are walking- we still very much feel the pain of our
suffering, the path is still sometimes very dark, and it threatens
destruction. In fact, the pain itself is what drops us to our knees and takes us to a new depth of faith. But the comfort that comes
from His presence with me softens
the pain, it lightens the load I carry and gives incredible
hope. He is a covenant God who is on my
side and “has my back” in the most incredible meaning of the phrase. He has made a covenant with me that He cannot
and will not break. His promises are
sure and steadfast. He is faithful and
from generation to generation, He is God.
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| Photo: Reimund Schuster via Wikimedia Commons |
In Exodus 33, after Moses descends from
Mt. Sinai and addresses the Israelites horrid sin against God by creating and
worshiping a golden calf, the Lord tells Moses that He will not go with
them. “Go up to a land flowing with milk
and honey; for I will not go up in your midst, because you are an
obstinate people, and I might destroy you on the way.” (vs.3) Moses later makes a plea before God and first
asks Him “let me know Your ways that I may know You.” He then reminds the Lord that this nation was
His people. Then, he makes this sobering
plea to the Lord…. “If your presence does not go with us, do not lead us up
from here.” (vs. 15) How I can
relate to this plea…..”God, if you don’t go with me, I don’t want to go. You are my only hope. I need You. I cannot do this alone. And no one else will do- it has to be YOU.” The presence of God was so precious to Moses-
it was his lifeline. The Lord gives
Moses the most assuring response he could’ve received… “My presence shall go
with you, and I will give you rest.” (vs.14)
REST. Thank you, Father, for this
REST.
“Be still
And know
that I am God.”
I recently read that Joni Earickson Tada
is undergoing another surgery for a second diagnosis of breast cancer. For anyone that knows Joni’s story, you know
she has endured more trials than any of us can ever imagine. She is well-acquainted with hardship. When asked her thoughts on this second cancer
diagnosis, this was her response: “Jesus is ecstasy beyond compare and if new
hardships draw us closer to Him, I’m more than content with it.”
Lord, give me that heart!
His path for us is not painless….but it is perfect. And it is beautiful. Because the one true God, the One who knows
all, the One who orchestrates it all, the One who loves with an everlasting
love IS WITH US.
“And behold, I am with you
always,
even to the end of the age.”
Matthew 28:20
Psalm 46- Shane and Shane
This song has always been a beautiful reminder to me that the Lord of Hosts Himself is with us.
The Silence of God- Andrew Peterson
If you have not heard Andrew Peterson's music and lyrics, you must. He is one of the best lyricists I've heard in a long time. This song in particular....so perfectly describes the reality of the Christian life. What comfort can be drawn by being raw and honest while clinging to our hope.
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